What to do when your Boyfriend/ Girlfriend wants to Break-up and you Don't.

 

Photography by: Dennis Nocom

1.Rationalize Why: Give an impartial thought to figure out why your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break-up and what role you’ve played in the decision making process. If you can figure out any changes that he or she wants in your relationship, and mutually agree to work on them, there are high chances of reversal of the situation.

2. Don’t Be Selfish: As you analyze the reasons behind why your boyfriend or girl friend wants to break up, remember to have attitude of an onlooker. Easier said than done. But being selfish would prevent you from seeing things from his or her point of you. You can only work on the differences once you spot them.

3.Don’t Be Clingy or Suspicious: If your boyfriend or girl friend is thinking of breaking up with you does not necessarily mean that he or she is seeing someone else. Stop being suspicious about each and every move he or she makes, and girls  or boys that he or she  meets. Clinging on to him will not help in any way to sort out what’s wrong.

4.Don’t Chase Him / Her: It’s best to maintain your dignity and self-respect. Chances are that chasing him or her will worsen the situation. It’d give her/ him a sense of being caged, and by virtue of basic human instinct she/ he’d want to break free.

5. Give Him/ Her Space: Every human being craves space. Especially men/ women. They need some “Man Time/ Women Time” even when into a relationship. More so if trying to break-up. So no repeated calling or SMS. No flooding inbox with messages. Your desperation will further drift him or her apart.

6.Be Yourself: Most women blame themselves if their partner wants to break off. Cut it. There is nothing wrong with you – the way you are, the way you look, how you perform in bed,& etc. Do not change your inner self to accommodate anyone in your life.
 

7.Do Not Criticize: Remember that probably your boyfriend or girl friend is suffering due to his or her decision. It might be a painful process for him/her too. It is okay to point out the ground differences between the two of you in an aim to fix the issues. But don’t be accusatory in the process. This may make him/her defensive and adamant.

8.Stay Positive: Destruction, self-destruction has never brought about any good. Remember that you as a person are valued by your near and dear ones. You play different roles in life – of a daughter, son, of a friend, of a sibling etc, and you have responsibilities towards them too. Be positive and recognize that a break-up is not the end of the world.

9. Forgiveness: Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves, to get well and Moved on.

" Being a strong person in a situation is not how well you prepare for everything to be right. But on how you stand up and move on after everything goes wrong."

- Deanna Dagang